Enneagram Type Nine relationship with Enneagram Type Nine

Enneagram Type Nine with Enneagram Type Nine


Why the Attraction?

  • This is a very common As with all double type combinations, Nines sense a deep rapport with each other. Nines are initially attracted to each other because of how accepted they feel by one another. Neither one makes demands of the other and neither wants to feel put upon. Both feel comfortable and unpressured by the relationship.
  • Nines have a mutual desire for harmony, peace, comfort and They both like a fairly predictablelifestyle with steady routines and simple pleasures. Once they’ve found something that works they like to stick with it.
  • Nines like to merge with one another but they also like their autonomy and give each other plenty of Nines make each other feel loved in their own modest way.
  • Neither is effusive or overly demonstrative but they are quietly affectionate and caringly attentive to each Nines have an uncanny ability to communicate nonverbally since they pick up on each other’s emotions so easily and are highly sensitive themselves.
  • Nines don’t like conflict so they’re happy to have found someone as laid-back, easy-going, undemanding andpatient as Nines appreciate that they’re both open to doing whatever the other wants to do. Theyalso enjoy a good laugh when neither can decide. Their relationship tends to be a peaceful and supportiveone.
  • Nines enjoy doing things with and for other people Both value spending time with good friends and family.


Some Shared Positive Traits

  • Feel like kindred spirits because they understand each other on a deep, nonverbal level
  • Enjoy being around each other because they both want peace, harmony and comfort
  • Are caring, empathetic, supportive, accommodating and considerate of each other
  • Are patient, receptive, responsive and helpful
  • Are domestic, generous and protective of their kith and kin
  • Are friendly, approachable, nonjudgmental and listen well
  • Are positive-minded, cheerful and optimistic
  • Are steady, stable and even-keeled in their emotions
  • Love the feeling of closeness in their relationship but also like their own space too
  • Are sociable and hospitable; they enjoy doing things for others as well as each other
  • Are easy-going and don’t let things get to them too easily
  • Are accepting and understanding; they don’t pressure each other to do or be different
  • Like to take it easy and enjoy life; they don’t pack their day too full of things to do
  • Tend to live in the present and accept life as it is
  • Are undemanding and thoughtful of each other
  • Are quick to forgive and forget after a disagreement
  • Are affectionate, sensual and love physical touch
  • Like their familiar, regular routines and habits that help keep life comfortable and predictable


Some Shared Negative Traits

  • Hate confrontations and Can avoid conflict so much that really important issues get swept under the rug
  • Can be uncommunicative about things that bother them
  • Take a long time to make decisions; slow to take action
  • Can be too habit bound and live vicariously through others rather than finding their own personal agendas to follow
  • Have a hard time prioritizing tasks that need to get done
  • Easily get distracted and sidetracked from essential tasks
  • Can procrastinate until the last minute before deadlines
  • Can be very stubborn and passive-aggressive if pressured
  • Hold on to grievances and don’t share them with anyone
  • Can go on automatic pilot through life doing what others would like them to do, with no real sense of self


Potential Problems

  • Nines can see each other as too: indecisive, unclear about own priorities, oppositional and stubborn, conflict- avoidant, distractible, unwilling to initiate, procrastinating, blaming, complaining, passive-aggressive, deferring to others, directionless, withdrawn, lazy, and lacking in vitality and
  • Nines love the harmonious feeling of being merged with one another so much and dislike conflict so muchthat they tend to overlook problems when they come Unfortunately, they eventually create problems bytrying to avoid them. If authentic communication doesn’t happen, trouble will.
  • Nines can build up resentments towards each other by tolerating too much “stuff” without saying Why don’t they say anything? To avoid conflict. If they continue not to speak their truth for too long they will find themselves becoming more enmeshed in mind-numbing routines and unimportant tasks, activities and busywork that serve to suppress their unspoken anger. Over time their vitality will deaden, they’ll become more and more resigned and fall into an imperceptible depression. They may numb out through TV, novels, drugs, etc.
  • Nines have trouble knowing their own priorities and tend to find them through their With two Nines, however, neither one has a fixed agenda so they can have trouble making up their minds about what they want to do. If married but in a lifeless relationship, Nines can peacefully coexist for years or even decades while living separate lives.



For Nines

  • Both of you can be indecisive and procrastinate because you look to the other to set the Encourage each other to be more decisive and take the initiative.
  • Neither one of you likes conflict and neither one of you are good at speaking up when there is a problem inthe If neither one of you speaks up when something is bothering you the relationship will  become dull and lifeless over time. Encourage each other to set your own priorities rather than deferring toeach other. If you both pay more attention to your own needs and communicate when you’re upset rather than complaining or blaming each other things will go much smoother.