Enneagram Type Seven with Enneagram Type Nine
Why the Attraction?
- This is one of the most common and compatible They appreciate each other’s sunny, optimistic attitude and generally focus on the positive aspects of life and the future. Sevens and Nines dislike conflict and tend to avoid negative thinking. Consequently they get along exceptionally well and seem happy together because they are happy with themselves. Both are idealistic and romantic with a highly sensual side. Sevens and Nines respect each other’s need for space and both like a certain amount of autonomy in the relationship.That said, both are also sociable, likeable people who enjoy doing things with and for friends and family.Both like to have fun, tell jokes/stories and often strike each other’s funny bone.
- Sevens and Nines value each other’s broad-perspective, big-picture and global They’re open- minded, often with a large group of eclectic friends, widespread interests and extreme curiosity about other peoples’ points of view.
- Sevens are initially attracted to Nines because they are so easy-going, steady, supportive, undemanding and Sevens feel calmed by Nines. Self-assertive Sevens like that Nines gladly go along with Seven’s adventures. Sevens appreciate Nine’s warmth too.
- Nines are initially attracted to Sevens because they are intense, lively, optimistic and Seven’s energy brings Nines alive and they enjoy getting swept up by Seven’s enthusiastic, adventurous spirit. Nines like that Sevens take the initiative because it frees them from the burden of having to make decisions.
Some Shared Positive Traits
- Are both optimistic, cheery and positive-minded
- Are both looking to keep life harmonious, fun and upbeat
- Are able to make the most of any circumstance
- Are idealistic, romantic and have fantastic imaginations
- Are friendly, pleasant, sociable, likeable and generous
- Like hanging out and going places together but also like having their own space and freedom
- Like to be busy doing things with or for other people
- Are able to forgive and forget and don’t hold grudges
- Get along really well and rarely argue or fight
- Are flexible, adaptable and open to new experiences
- Are very sensual and love physical touch
Some Shared Negative Traits
- Can neglect, deny or gloss over real issues that need to be addressed in their life
- Don’t like dealing with conflict, discomfort, pain, negativity or unsettled conditions
- Can each blame the other for not being responsible enough
- Don’t always finish what they start
- Can lack introspection since they tend to be more outer-directed than inner-directed (note: some Nines are very spiritual so can be inner-directed and some Sevens, when healthy, can move into their type Five Heart point and become more introspective)
Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)
- Seek euphoric elation (Sevens) Seek placid serenity (Nines)
- Stimulate and excite me! (Sevens) Relax and comfort me! (Nines)
- Make and initiate plans (Sevens) Go along with plans (Nines)
- Clear desires/wants (Sevens) Nebulous desires/wants (Nines)
- Definite sense of self (Sevens) Unsure sense of self (Nines)
- Fast-paced, Energetic (Sevens) Slow-paced, Calm (Nines)
- Process quickly (Sevens) vs. Process info. slowly (Nines)
- Outspoken and Frank (Sevens) Tactful and Discreet (Nines)
- Impatient or Manic (Sevens) Patient or Unresponsive (Nines)
- Self-assured (Sevens) Self-effacing (Nines)
- Like Variety and Change (Sevens) Like Habit and Routine (Nines)
- Both Sevens and Nines are conflict-avoidant and prefer to keep life pleasant and As a consequence, they can neglect important issues and fail to communicate about problems.
- Each can blame the other for being
- Nines can see Sevens as too: unpredictable, inconsistent, self-serving, overwhelmingly fast-paced and quickthinking, impatient, insatiable, and preoccupied with own plans and desires and unconcerned about the Nine’s needs and
- Sevens can see Nines as too: indecisive, distractible, passive and passive-aggressive, slow-paced, lacking in initiative, lost in inessential activities, unclear about own priorities, stubborn and oppositional, overly compliant but then resistant and desirous of
- While Sevens and Nines don’t like to talk about what’s bothering them or not working, most Sevens are extroverts who need to talk things out (most Nines are introverts although many think they’re extroverts because they like being with people, sexual and social subp-types). The problem is that Sevens aren’t patient and can be rather critical, offensive and belittling when they’re mad or frustrated. Sevens can get angry and demanding of Nines when they are not getting their needs met or when they see Nine as being azy. But anger just makes Nines withdraw and shut down even more and go into stubborn silence and inaction. Anger makes Nines feel anxious and edgy so they can occasionally explode in anger themselves. If not, they will just be critical.
- You can overrun your Nine with your agenda Nines don’t speak up for themselves readily andyour stronger energy will overpower them. So, make a special effort to listen to your Nine and not be impatient with his/her indecision and slower pace. Make your Nine feel important and let him/her makechoices of things to do sometimes. Be patient!
- Speak up for yourself if something is bothering you about the Your natural tendency is to just shrug off disappointments in your relationship as “not that big of a deal.” If you don’t speak up yourself yourSeven will just keep him/herself busily occupied and not notice a problem.