Enneagram Type Eight relationship with Enneagram Type Eight

Enneagram Type Eight with Enneagram Type Eight


Why the Attraction?

  • As with all double type combinations, Eights sense a deep rapport with each Eights are initially attracted to each other’s self-reliance, comradeship, honesty and directness as well as their adventurous,energetic and lustful nature. Eights are independent people who need a great deal of personal space. They give that to each other. That said, Eights also love spending time with family and friends (with a healthy connection to type Two, their Heart point). They highly value loyalty and can be very protective and loving towards those nearest and dearest to them.
  • Eights appreciate each other’s They enjoy a good debate or heated discussion and like to work hard and play hard. Being instinctive and lustful with strong desires that beckon for fulfillment, Eights go after what they want with dogged determination. Needless to say, Eights have strong physical appetites so are highly sexual as well.
  • Eights can also be attracted to one another’s nobility of Eights recognize they both want to affect people and their environment. They are committed to truth and justice and want to make an impact with their life. When healthy, they can join together to champion and protect people. When unhealthy, they can join together to hurt people or commit crimes (both having an outlaw mentality).
  • Eights are able to profoundly relax around each other once trust is They have confidence in each other and enjoy supporting each other’s lofty goals.


Some Shared Positive Traits

  • Are high-energy, self-expressive people with clear desires, lust for life and strong presence
  • Are solid, powerful, trustworthy, honorable and respectful
  • Are self-confident, decisive, self-reliant and independent
  • Feel relaxed and calmly confident around each other because they feel met/understood
  • Are self-assertive, commanding and authoritative
  • Are bighearted, kind and generous with loved ones
  • Are unconditionally loyal to and supportive of each other
  • Stand up for truth and fight injustice wherever they see it
  • Are very strong-willed with an unshakable sense of self
  • Are direct, honest and frank with each other
  • Are action-oriented doers who make things happen
  • Use their strength to provide for, protect and improve others’ lives, especially loved ones
  • Are indomitable, strong-minded and determined
  • Like being in charge and are good in leadership positions
  • Are self-starters who like to champion and empower people
  • Can be visionary and resourceful, using their inner power and strength to construct a better world for everyone
  • Are committed to worthy causes, especially those that support the underdog/mistreated
  • Are responsible, dependable, hard working, passionate
  • Offer each other true friendship


Some Shared Negative Traits

  • Fear others will take advantage of them if they show any weakness
  • Fear being betrayed, wronged or controlled
  • Deny their own tender feelings and vulnerabilities
  • Can harden their heart’s to other’s pain and suffering
  • Can be reckless, impulsive, egocentric, immoral, lawless
  • Can have extremist tendencies and problems with excess
  • Can feel omnipotent and invulnerable and be destructive
  • Can be insensitive, disrespectful, overbearing and abusive
  • Can be ruthlessly competitive, combative and opportunistic
  • Can be aggressive/violent and see life as a battle ground
  • Are not against bullying, intimidating or threatening others
  • Can get into power struggles with people and each other
  • Think in terms of all-or-nothing, black-and-white


Potential Problems

  • Eights can have difficulties in relationships, but especially with each Imagine Two people who both want to be in control but defy being controlled…. Two people who are tender inside, easily hurt and fear rejection but have toughened themselves up so as not to be taken advantage of…. Two people who want a strong partner who can meet their energy and scrap with them but not so strong that they can’t be in charge….Two people who fear showing any sign of neediness, vulnerability, loneliness or weakness but deep down just want to love and be loved.
  • Since both Eights want to be in control this can be a battle of wills until they learn to trust one Eights  will test each other’s loyalty and character (through provoking and fighting) until they feel safe enough to let their guard down a little (surrender some control) and let their partner in. Eights fear that people will take advantage of them if they let their guard down so trust is a BIG issue.
  • Eights tend to think they’re right, don’t like to apologize for being wrong (or be proven wrong) and want their opinions to be If Eights don’t learn how to communicate and negotiate respectfully the relationship will not last.
  • Eights can see each other as too: controlling, domineering, overbearing, suspicious, excessive, extreme, combative, unaware of their softer feelings, all-or-nothing in their thinking, in denial of vulnerability, and insensitive yet too thin-skinned.



For Eights

  • The best-selling author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” once said, “If down deep you are invulnerable you can afford to be vulnerable on the surface of your But if down deep you are vulnerableyou can’t afford to be vulnerable.” If you are an Eight reading these words your goal is to develop your inner invulnerability. Use your desire to protect yourself as a catalyst to protect others. Like begets like so your confrontational stance begets confrontation from others and only reinforces your view that the world is a cold nd unjust place. You like to be powerful so use your strength to empower others.