Enneagram Type Six with Enneagram Type Seven
Why the Attraction?
- Sixes and Sevens are both mental types that counterbalance each other nicely when they are Sixes are loyal, dutiful, responsible, serious, conscientious, security-conscious, stable, commitment-oriented, salt- of-the-earth types. Sevens, by contrast, are freedom-loving, adventurous, carefree, spontaneous, exuberant, happy-go-lucky, daring types. Both have a playful, whimsical sense of humor and enjoy bantering with each other. Both are curious, friendly, engaging, sociable and enjoy stimulating conversations.
- Sixes are initially attracted to Sevens because they are fun to be around, optimistic, entertaining, joyful and Sevens help balance Six’s doubts, fears and self-limitations with their positive mental attitude and self-confidence.
- Sevens encourage Sixes to be more adventurous, free-spirited, spur-of-the-moment, courageous and less fearful, timid, anxious and Sevens help Sixes see the big picture.
- Sevens are initially attracted to Sixes because they are friendly, engaging, curious, witty, active and Sevens also like that they’re understanding, mentally astute, judicious and dependable. Sixes help Sevens be more grounded, realistic, sensible, practical and aware of potential limitations to their grand dreams and plans. Sixes help Sevens persevere and follow through on the detailed aspects of their plans and ideas. Sixes are great trouble shooters and can help Sevens foresee potential problems they may not have thought of in their haste.
Some Shared Positive Traits
- Are imaginative, quick-witted and mentally sharp
- Are friendly, engaging and easy to get along with
- Can be loyal and devoted to their family and friends
- Can have a playful, whimsical sense of humor and enjoy bantering with each other
- Enjoy intellectual stimulation and are very curious
- Can both love excitement and adventure (not so much phobic Sixes but especially counterphobic Sixes)
- Are sociable and enjoy spending time with people
- Can be hard working and energetic
Some Shared Negative Traits
- Both are driven by anxiety (Sixes seek stability to prevent anxiety, Sevens seek fun distractions to avoid anxiety)
- Both can be rebellious and outspoken (counterphobic Sixes)
- Both can be anti-authoritarian (counterphobic Sixes)
- Both can over-reactive
- Both can fail to get things accomplished (Sixes because of procrastination and too many competing demands on their Sevens because of being too scattered, unfocused and distractible)
Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)
- Seek safety and security (Sixes) Seek pleasure and fun (Sevens)
- Need commitment (Sixes) Need freedom (Sevens)
- Practical (Sixes) Visionary (Sevens)
- Methodical Regulator (Sixes) Spontaneous Exciter (Sevens)
- Anticipate the negative (Sixes) Anticipate the positive (Sevens)
- Pessimistic (Sixes) Optimistic (Sevens)
- Past-oriented (Sixes) Future-oriented (Sevens)
- See adversities (Sixes) See opportunities (Sevens)
- Fear of abandonment (Sixes) Fear of confinement (Sevens)
- Limit-setting (Sixes) Limit-breaking (Sevens)
- Think of the worst (Sixes) Think of the best (Sevens)
- “Can I do it?” (Sixes) “I can do it!” (Sevens)
- Self-restraint (Sixes) Self-indulgence (Sevens)
- Predictable and Steady (Sixes) Unpredictable and Erratic (Sevens)
- Can be self-sacrificing (Sixes) Can be self-serving (Sevens)
- Want Steadiness (Sixes) Want Variety (Sevens)
- Thrifty (Sixes) Spendthrifty (Sevens)
- Economical (Sixes) Wasteful (Sevens)
- Serious (Sixes) Light-hearted (Sevens)
- Worrisome (Sixes) Carefree (Sevens)
- See the details (Sixes) See the big picture (Sevens)
- Implements ideas (Sixes) Generates ideas (Sevens)
- Sixes are looking for more commitment while Sevens are looking for more Therein lies one of the major rubs.
- Sixes can see Sevens as too: self-serving, impatient, unrealistic about real negative potentials/threats, limitation phobic, uncommitted, excessively optimistic, dismissive of Six’s concerns, unreliable, escapist andevasive, unpredictable, superior acting and quick to rationalize their
- Sevens can see Sixes as too: limit imposing, oppositional, fearful of negative/worst case scenarios, mistrustful, worrisome, anxiety ridden, self-limiting, irrationally fearful and desirous of unshakable certainty and unwavering
- Sixes and Sevens have problems when the different expectations they have of life and each other can’t be
- Your Seven likes freedom of thought and action so your putting limits on Seven because of your own fear and anxiety will only aggravate your Seven Sevens spurn limitations of any kind.
- Make your own needs Sevens can be too self-involved (at times) so speak up.
- Try to think more Sevens find negativity a real drag.
- Don’t scoff at your Six’s fears and doubts as irrational or Rather, try to make your Six feel more safe and secure in the relationship so that those fears and doubts won’t keep you from enjoying each other’s company.