Enneagram Type Three with Enneagram Type Seven
Why the Attraction?
- This pair has many things in common and are a good match in many They are initially attracted to their similarities as much as differences. Both are optimistic, energetic, outgoing and likeable, yet self-assertive.They enjoy doing activities and going places together. Both want to live “the good life” as much as financially possible. Both are positive, possibility thinkers and expect good things to happen for them in life.They’re both quite independent too and each gives the other freedom to pursue his/her own projects. Neither likes dealing with negative feelings which suits both of them just fine. This is an adventurous, gregarious,active couple.
- Threes are initially attracted to the Seven’s youthful, fun-loving, spontaneous, enthusiastic Threes can also be attracted to their breadth of knowledge and experiences in life. No other type has as many wide-ranging interests as the Seven. Threes are also attracted to Seven’s light-heartedness, humor and playfulness (Threes are more serious-minded, feeling a sense of personal pressure to be successful).
- Sevens are initially attracted to Three’s charm, self-confidence and attractive, outgoing They may also be attracted to the Three’s success, prestige, wealth and/or good looks since Seven’s want it all!Sevens like a partner who will join them on adventures and Threes are one of the few types that can physically keep up with Seven.
Some Shared Positive Traits
- Are positive, lively, optimistic; often highly accomplished
- Are enthusiastic; can be daring and willing to take risks
- Have youthful, attractive personalities
- Expect good things to happen and like to live the good life
- Are possibility thinkers who have a healthy self-image
- Are often multi-talented and full of joie de vivre
- Are self-motivated, self-directed, high-energy doers
- Are active, self-assertive go-getters
- Are personable, likeable, sociable, friendly and outgoing
- Are vivacious, high-spirited and gregarious
- Like freedom to pursue their interests and projects
- Can be motivating, inspiring and persuasive
Some Shared Negative Traits
- Have a tendency to avoid painful and negative feelings
- Can evade real relationship issues to keep life upbeat
- Can be impatient and easily get frustrated with slower-paced people
- Have trouble slowing down, relaxing and just “being”
- Hate to be limited or constricted by others
- Can’t stand to be bored; can be too brash and risk-taking
- Can overbook themselves with too many commitments
- Can be narcissistic, opportunistic and self-absorbed
- Can have too high an opinion of themselves
- May not be good listeners
Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)
- Diplomatic (Threes) Outspoken (Sevens)
- Usually respectful (Threes) Can be disrespectful (Sevens)
- Self-disciplined (Threes) Unself-disciplined (Sevens)
- Focused Workaholic (Threes) Unfocused Playaholic (Sevens)
- Driven to succeed (Threes) Driven to enjoy life (Sevens)
- Seek recognition (Threes) Seek new experiences (Sevens)
- Self-disciplined (Threes) Undisciplined (Sevens)
- Image-conscious (Threes) Not image-conscious (Sevens)
- Grounded (Threes) Ungrounded (Sevens)
- The major complaint in this relationship comes from Seven who feels that Three is a workaholic and overly focused on achieving success and winning admiration rather than having fun or spending quality time with the Seven (or their family if they have one). Even if very successful in their career, Sevens are not driven by wanting recognition and If Sevens feel like they are sacrificing too much fun and enjoyment of life for the sake of the Three’s career they will often consider leaving the relationship. Sevens can also feel as if Threes alter their behavior too much to have a positive effect on others and maintain their good image.
- Both Threes and Sevens can be self-centered and Sevens may feel as if they only exist in the Three’s life to serve their ambitions (and to look good on the Three’s arm). Three’s may feel as if they only exist to be a playmate for the Seven.
- Important issues can get swept under the rug in this relationship since neither Threes nor Sevens like dealing with painful feelings or negativity at
- Threes can see Sevens as flaky, irresponsible, undisciplined, non-committal, escapist, too fun-loving and self- indulgent, spend thrifty, outspoken and having no sense of
- Threes can see Sevens as too changeable and unable to stick with things long enough which irritates Sevens can also be blunt and rude and don’t care as much about social convention and appropriateness as Threes do. Threes don’t like it when Sevens act superior to others either.
- You are anxious that your real feelings will surface if you slow down, work less and spend more time connecting with your Neither you nor your Seven partner are good at creating deep intimacy. To overcome your relationship anxieties set some goals to really connect with your Seven.
- You can learn some good self-discipline and focus from your Three Self-discipline is actually the key to real freedom because you master your impulses. You and your Three partner could stand to work on slowing down and being more present, in the moment. Also, work on developing more intimacy and not avoiding painful feelings.