Enneagram Type Three relationship with Enneagram Type Three

Enneagram Type Three with Enneagram Type Three


Why the Attraction?

  • Threes are initially attracted to each other because each sees in the other what they like about Both admire each other’s ambition, winning personality, self-confidence, charisma, enthusiasm and hard  work ethic. Both value achievement and success. But more than that, healthy Threes highly value excellence in their craft and want their work to be an authentic expression of who they are (especially Threes with a   Four wing). Threes are driven to make something of themselves and improve their lot in life. For as hard working as Threes are though they also enjoy socializing, and especially like it if they bump into an powerful person who can further their career (especially if they have a Two wing or are a social sub-type).
  • Threes are concerned about how they are being perceived by each other and intuitively know how to say or do just the right thing to win their partner Threes want their partner to see them as outstanding and admirable, to be proud of them and their successes and accomplishments. Threes are also natural motivators so type Three partners can be very encouraging and inspiring of each other, spurring each other on to higher human potential and attainment of ever greater goals. They can also work exceptionally well as a team.Threes appreciate each other’s ability to coordinate and handle all of the daily responsibilities of life and still have time left over for socializing with friends, or spending some quality time together.


Some Shared Positive Traits

  • Like being efficient with their time
  • Are interested in constant self-improvement
  • Value each other’s accomplishments and achievements
  • Are usually punctual and good at following schedules
  • Are hard working and industrious
  • Are self-reliant and independent
  • Are highly competent and goal-oriented
  • Are not overly sentimental or sappy but rather clear and precise in their communications
  • Want to make something of themselves
  • Always looking for ways to improve themselves and their lot in life
  • Tend to be sociable and enjoy the company of others
  • Have the ability to charm others
  • Present themselves in a favorable, attractive light
  • Are often admirable and outstanding in some way
  • Are excellent motivators
  • Are energetic, ambitious and focused


Some Shared Negative Traits

  • Can be deceptive (to themselves and others)
  • Can be overly competitive
  • Can be narcissistic and egotistical
  • Can neglect their feelings
  • Can neglect the relationship in lieu of worldly success
  • Can be too image-conscious
  • Can be workaholics
  • Can have a hard time slowing down and relaxing
  • Can be opportunistic


Potential Problems

  • Problems occur between double Threes in Four main areas: (One) comparing themselves with each other and competing with each other, (Two) neglecting the relationship because of career, (Three) neglecting other areas of life because of career and (Four) neglecting their real feelings and
  • Two Threes can begin to compare their career successes and who has more professional Self- preservation Threes may compare incomes or who has more chance for advancement and promotions. Social Threes might compare their relative social prestige by seeing who has more group power or leadership potential. Sexual Threes might compare their popularity and sexual appeal, gauging who attracts more admirers.
  • Another problem area is the time a relationship takes away from career If one or both of the Threes sees the relationship as a burden to success there will be conflict. If the Threes live together and/or have a family there could be some resentment if one of the Threes feels s/he does more of his/her share of the household chores and duties, especially if the other Three is getting ahead career-wise.
  • Threes aren’t particularly in tune with their own feelings and heart’s desires as a They suppress real feelings to be more productive. As a consequence, neither Three likes to talk about deep feelings. This can lead to a shallow, depressing relationship devoid of real intimacy.



For Threes

  • One of the greatest challenges in a double Three relationship is being able to create emotional connection and intimacy that natures your Double Threes often say that their relationship looks great from the outside but feels empty from the inside. To prevent this from happening you will have to learn to distinguish your real feelings from the feelings you act out because they seem appropriate.
  • Intimacy is created by being nonjudgmental, authentic about who you are and allowing yourself to be Don’t try to impress your partner. Rather, express your hurt, pain, fears, disappointments, etc. and encourage your Three partner to also. It will bring you much closer.