Enneagram Type One relationship with Enneagram Type Seven

Enneagram Type One with Enneagram Type Seven

 

Why the Attraction?

  • Ones and Sevens are opposites in many ways but share an arrow between them (see Enneagram symbol).Sevens are initially attracted to Ones mental clarity, decisiveness, work ethic, self-discipline, orderliness,conscientiousness and ability to focus, follow through and get things Sevens are also attracted to Ones idealism, integrity, sense of mission and desire to improve the world. Sevens feel more grounded by Ones(unless it turns into “controlled and restricted by Ones”).
  • Ones are initially attracted to Sevens sparkling enthusiasm for life, vivaciousness, happiness, sense of fun, adventure and Ones are also attracted to Sevens insatiable curiosity, desire to try new things and their ability to not take themselves or life too seriously.
  • Ones feel more lighthearted and excited by Sevens (unless it turns into “distracted and agitated by Sevens”).
  • Ones and Sevens are both idealistic, curious and enjoy They’re both attracted to causes and want to contribute something meaningful to the world.
  • Both are Ones initiate their plans methodically while Sevens initiate their plans spontaneously. Ones help Sevens learn how to stay focused and not get too distracted and Sevens help Ones be more spontaneous and less perfectionistic.
  • Ones appreciate Sevens joie de vivre, adaptability and joyful, childlike passion for Sevens appreciate Ones consistency, dependability, reliability and attention to detail.

 

Some Shared Positive Traits

  • Both are idealistic and future-oriented
  • Both are action-oriented and deal with the real world
  • Both can be funny, witty and enjoy telling jokes and stories
  • Both are good at scheduling, planning and making things happen
  • Both want to better the world (especially the social sub-types)
  • Both enjoy learning and improving themselves
  • Both have very active minds, although they think quite differently
  • Both can be realistic and accomplished
  • Both can be intense and sometimes even extreme
  • Both are fairly They like the freedom to pursue their own goals and interests

 

Some Shared Negative Traits

  • Both can think they are better than other people
  • Both can be demanding, anxious, impatient, frustrated
  • Both can attempt to escape anxiety through addictions
  • Both can be hyperactive and “act out” destructive behaviors
  • Both can get frustrated by all their seeming limitations
  • Both can rationalize their behavior and justify their actions
  • Both can be critical, obsessive, compulsive and arrogant
  • Both can become disillusioned with each other

 

Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)

  • Strive for perfection (Ones) Strive for enjoyment (Sevens)
  • Self-restrained (Ones) Unrestrained (Sevens)
  • Critical and Negative (Ones) Optimistic and Positive (Sevens)
  • Methodical (Ones) Spontaneous (Sevens)
  • Focused, Planned (Ones) Unfocused, Unplanned (Sevens)
  • Disciplined, Careful (Ones) Undisciplined, Carefree (Sevens)
  • Pleasure-denying (Ones) Pleasure-seeking (Sevens)
  • Thrifty with money (Ones) Spendthrift with money (Sevens)
  • Father-like, Serious (Ones) Childlike, Frivolous (Sevens)
  • Responsible (Ones) Irresponsible (Sevens)

 

Potential Problems

  • Sevens like to have multiple options and keep plans Ones like to have things scheduled in advance.
  • Ones can get irritated with the undisciplined, unfocused, scattered, self-centered, unrestrained, hedonistic behavior of Ones may try to hold in their frustration but sooner or later the Seven’s behavior will get the better of them and they will become increasingly critical and judgmental. Ones can be insistent that the Seven learn some self-control and stop fooling around so much and spending money frivolously.
  • Sevens love to have fun but can easily overbook Some Sevens will even break a commitment to do something else more enjoyable which drives Ones crazy.
  • Ones can’t see how anyone could be so scattered and unfocused as well as frivolous with money, so they can accuse Sevens of deliberately fooling around to annoy
  • Some Sevens won’t hesitate to get their needs met outside of the relationship if they are unfulfilled since they can rationalize anything they The constant controlling, criticism and judgmental of the One makes it easy for Sevens to justify their actions. Ones can eventually lose respect for the Seven and withdraw emotional connection. The vulgar self-centered and reckless behavior of Sevens is disillusioning and depressive to Ones. Sevens, in turn become disillusioned by the Ones judgmental perfectionism, rigidity, intolerance of others and obsessive-compulsive behavior.

 

Advice

For Ones

  • Practice being less controlling of your Seven and lighten
  • Be more flexible and Enjoy having fun.
  • Appreciate your Seven’s enthusiasm, vivaciousness, light-heartedness and fun-loving nature rather than judging

 

For Sevens

  • Learn to be more self-disciplined and thrifty with Ones fear being out of control that’s why they tryto control you
  • Ones tend to deny their own needs but you can help them by being attentive to their
  • Realize that Ones often feel overwhelmed by Ask how you can help them feel less overburdened.

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