Enneagram Type One with Enneagram Type Six
Why the Attraction?
- Ones and Sixes are initially attracted to each other because they share so many values, beliefs and They admire each other’s sense of duty, loyalty, reliability, hard work ethic, conscientiousness and sense of purpose and mission. They esteem each other’s shared vision of serving others and improving the world.They both willingly sacrifice for the causes they believe in.
- Sixes are committed to helping the struggling underdog develop the inner courage to “make it” and Ones are committed to helping the world develop inner Both highly value commitment and will stick together through thick and thin since they share a similar world- view: “Life is full of difficulties and adversities.”
- They both believe unwavering loyalty to kith and kin is the honorable, right way to get through the inevitable troubled This similar worldview allows for amazing trust to be built over time.
- Ones are attracted to Sixes supportiveness, congeniality, warmth and Ones recognize that Sixes are less emotionally self-controlled than they are and admire Sixes ability to engage with people in a genuine, heart-felt, emotionally responsive way. Ones see Sixes as friendly, generous and endearing. Sixes are attracted to Ones ability to prioritize and make firm decisions. Sixes see Ones as stable, dependable and consistent, which makes them feel more secure in the relationship.
Some Shared Positive Traits
- Both are trustworthy, reliable, steadfast, loyal, faithful
- Both like to organize their environment
- Both are thoughtful, cooperative, considerate, dutiful
- Both are hard working, stable, conscientious, serious-minded
- Both care deeply about truth, commitment and honor
- Both follow through on their promises and obligations
- Both have a desire to serve others and improve the world
- Both can have a strong sense of purpose and mission, feeling guided by deeply held beliefs and ideals
- Both feel that they can count on each other which allows them to relax some of their anxiety and worry
Some Shared Negative Traits
- Both can worry too much about what might go wrong in the future
- Both can be preoccupied with negatives and contrary thinking
- Both can be unquestioning of their beliefs and values
- Both can feel obligated to take care of responsibilities before relaxing or thinking about their own needs
- Both can feel extremely guilty and berate themselves when they’re not compliant with their strong conscience
- Both can procrastinate
- Both can be perfectionistic, wanting to get things right
- Both are sensitive to criticism
Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)
- Compliant to ideals (Ones) Compliant to others (Sixes)
- Strive for perfection (Ones) Strive for security (Sixes)
- Inner critic (Ones) Inner committee (Sixes)
- Decisive (Ones) Indecisive (Sixes)
- Inner certainty (Ones) Inner uncertainty (Sixes)
- Self-controlled feelings (Ones) Volatile feelings (Sixes)
- Righteous anger (Ones) Fearfulness (Sixes)
- Irritation of others (Ones) Suspicion of others (Sixes)
- Impersonal and Cool (Ones) Engaging and Warm (Sixes)
- Both Ones and Sixes tend to be overly responsible and can easily get stressed out and overwhelmed when they fear not being able to fulfill all their They also tend to worry a lot. This makes them both testy and edgy at times and the climate ripe for relationship problems.
- Ones can get angry with Sixes negative projections (fears of the worst) – their suspicions, questioning, doubting, blaming and Ones also get frustrated by Sixes indecision, anxiety and constant need for reassurance.
- Sixes fear anger, are sensitive to criticism and dislike the Ones moral superiority Six’s often feeljudged and blamed by Ones because whatever they do isn’t good enough.
- Sixes can become defensive and evasive when things are going wrong in the They may work longer hours to stay away from their critical, condescending One.
- Ones can become cold and critical of Sixes if they do not feel as if they are pulling their weight in the
- Sixes will eventually lash out at the One’s biting and caustic put-downs but not until a lot of anger and resentment has built Sixes can fear abandonment if a bad argument ensues
- Ones may feel they can’t do anything to make their Six partner feel more secure and Sixes may feel nothing they do can satisfy their One Blaming, swearing, arguing and accusations can destroy the relationship.
- Realize that Sixes don’t like feeling insecure, anxious and uncertain about the relationship any more than youlike feeling personally obligated or criticized when
- Understand that their suspicions, questioning, testing and accusations are just defenses to feel safe and
- You fear your own aggression and Ones deny their anger because they think it’s You both imagine and assume each other is thinking the worst without ever checking it out with each other. The solution is to talk it out rather than making false assumptions.