Enneagram Type One relationship with Enneagram Type Five

Enneagram Type One with Enneagram Type Five


Why the Attraction?

  • Ones and Fives are often attracted to each other’s strong mind and intellectual Ones admire Five’sabstract awareness, acute perceptiveness, open-mindedness, expert knowledge and depth/breadth ofunderstanding.
  • Fives value Ones rationality, discernment, judiciousness, self-discipline and pragmatic Fives are more conceptual, theoretical and global in their thinking while Ones are more methodical, systematic and detailed in theirs.
  • Both are mental but each has a radically different way of thinking that makes discussions and debates a greatsource of pleasure and Ones appreciate being calmed by Five’s quiet, composed way of beingwhile Fives enjoy being enlivened by Ones zeal, fervor and passionate convictions. Interestingly, Ones andFives arouse each other’s sense of humor and lightheartedness, perhaps because they both access their link totype Seven when together (see the Enneagram Symbol).
  • Ones and Fives are self-reliant and respectful of each other’s boundaries and personal They tend tosuppress their feelings so are reticent to show their emotions directly. But there is an unspoken affectionbetween them that is palpable. Neither is very good at initiating intimacy but, for as quiet as Fives are, theycan be quite sexual and will initiate when they’re in the mood. Neither Ones nor Fives are sentimental oroverly romantic (unless they have a strong Two or Four wing, respectively) and they like that about eachother.


Some Shared Positive Traits

  • Are both rational, objective, analytical, independent, self-controlled and self-reliant
  • Are both cerebral, intellectual, curious and identify strongly with their minds
  • Both can be witty and humorous
  • Both respect each other’s boundaries and personal space
  • Both can think deeply when figuring things out
  • Both can focus intensely on their own projects or work
  • If the One has a strong Two wing AND the Five has a strong Four wing there can be a nice meeting of minds and
  • Both are usually thrifty and careful with money


Some Shared Negative Traits

  • Seem a little inhibited, formal and reserved because both have difficulty showing their emotions directly
  • Both can have a superiority Ones can have an air of being morally superior while Fives can have an air of being intellectually superior
  • Both can be critical, judgmental, cynical and sarcastic
  • Both tend to withdraw when they get their feelings hurt
  • Both are not sentimental (but Ones with a strong Two wing or Fives with a strong Four wing might be) but are hypersensitive
  • Both can have difficulty communicating their feelings and desires


Differing Traits (and Potential Sources of Frustration or Balance)

  • Outer world of practical action (Ones) Inner world of theory and imagination (Fives)
  • Moralistic (Ones) Iconoclastic (challenge tradition) (Fives)
  • Judge the world (Ones) Understand the world (Fives)
  • Deductive reasoning (Ones) Inductive reasoning (Fives)
  • Believe in objective truth (Ones) Don’t believe in…. (Fives)
  • Black-and-White thinking (Ones) Inquisitive Thinking (Fives)
  • Pragmatic thinking (Ones) Abstract thinking (Fives)
  • Narrow-minded (Ones) Open-minded (Fives)
  • Conventional (Ones) Unconventional (Fives)


Potential Problems

  • Ones are more practical doers whereas Fives are more abstract Different modes of Being can causeconflicts. Ones are focused on the outer world and other people. Fives are focused on their inner world/ownideas. Ones can get mad at Fives inaction in the “real” world.
  • Ones can be intolerant of others whereas Fives tend to be tolerant with a “live and let live”
  • Ones usually believe in following the rules whereas Fives can be unconventional and break the
  • Ones can get anxious about the Fives silences and need for so much time If Ones become intrusive Fives will retract further, making the One even more frustrated.
  • Ones can insist their beliefs and perspectives on reality are the correct, objective Fives believe in relative truth.
  • Ones can be fanatical, dogmatic, self-righteous and preachy about their “irrefutable” Fives enjoy debating and debunking Ones irrefutable beliefs with their incisive mind.
  • Both can find it difficult to respect each other if they don’t share the same basic philosophies of
  • Since neither partner is very emotional or sentimental, the relationship can deteriorate into an impersonal, cool, distant and cynical one if they start drifting apart
  • They can end up living separate lives, pouring themselves into their work where they can



For Ones

  • Learn to investigate and question your beliefs, like Fives
  • Express your anger and sexuality rather than bottling yourself up and suppressing your
  • Develop more of a “live-and-let-live” philosophy of
  • Don’t misinterpret Five’s silence as judgments against you


For Fives

  • You don’t like to get angry but Ones like to know you are emotionally invested in the relationship so speak up!
  • Be gentle with your criticism or debunking of Ones They’re extremely sensitive to criticism and being wrong.