Common Descriptive Names: (1) The Romantic, (2) The Individualist, (3) The Dreamer
Unconscious Fear for type Four: Of having no permanent sense of self, no identity, no personal
To compensate for their Unconscious Fear an Unconscious Desire arises…..
Unconscious Desire for type Four: To find out who they are and then be themselves (to actualize
As our personality was forming in early childhood we each developed limiting subconscious beliefs
about ourselves, others and the world. For example, your mother or father might have yelled at you
“Get your hands out of there!” or “You should be ashamed of yourself!” or “Stop being such a cry
baby!” If you had really loving parents you might have heard, “Don’t touch that, it’s hot!” or “Don’t do
that, you might hurt yourself!” We also developed limiting beliefs about others. Growing up you may
have heard, “I don’t want you to play with those kinds of kids” or “Salesmen are sleazebags” or
“Politicians are so duplicitous and two-faced.” We also developed limiting beliefs about the world.
Newspapers and television constantly bombard our minds with reports of scandals, crimes, wars,
economic crises, natural disasters, and political corruption. Does this help us believe the world is a
loving, safe place to live? Of course not. One way or another, none of us escaped childhood without
some limiting subconscious beliefs. Your Enneagram type identifies some of the strongest
subconscious beliefs that you’ve developed over time based on your distorted perception of reality.
Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Four:
• I’m missing something vitally important that would make me whole and complete; I
just need to find it.
• I’m different (more flawed) than other people.
• Others have happier, more fulfilling lives than I do.
• To be loved I must be unique, special and distinctive.
• Others fit in better than I do.
• Nobody really understands me.
Core Coping Strategies for Fours: (where Fours focus their attention because of their subconscious
• Searching for the ideal (partner, job, body,…., life) that will compensate for what the
Four feels is missing inside
• Overusing imagination to fantasize about ideal situations
• Feeling superior (to those less deep and/or sensitive)
• Emphasizing uniqueness (which has the nasty side effect of distancing themselves from
others and creating tension in relationships)
• Identifying the self with ever-changing feelings and moods
• Tuning in to inner states and feelings to actualize the self
• “Mismatch.” An NLP term meaning Fours look for and notice what is NOT present in
any experience; what’s missing
• “Polarize.” An NLP term meaning contrary/polar opposite thinking