Heart and Defensive Points/Arrows for Type Two Enneagram

Type Two with a Healthy Connection to Type Four:

When Twos integrate the positive
aspects of type Four they realize just how much they’ve denied their own needs and deceived
themselves about their “purely altruistic” motives. They see that much of their giving was to get
love, approval, appreciation and admiration. They stop trying to change themselves in to
someone others will love and instead become more authentic and honest with themselves and
others. They are able to say no when they really don’t have the time or energy to do something
for someone else. They find other sources of self-worth besides helping people all the time. They
accept all of their feelings, even the darker, more negative ones such as melancholy, anger,
resentment, hostility and loneliness with compassion. They don’t reject any part of themselves.
They develop their inner life and enjoy time alone to meditate, contemplate and/or express their
creativity, perhaps through some form of art or writing custom made cards to people. As Twos
become more loving towards and intimate with themselves they are able to create intimacy and
express love more easily and genuinely with others.

Type Two with a Healthy Connection to Type Eight:

When Twos integrate the positive
aspects of type Eight they become more self-confident, able to set good boundaries, and assert
their own needs. Despite appearances to the contrary, Twos can be incredibly tough and
assertive underneath their veil of sweetness. With the connection to Eight, they become less
concerned about other people’s opinions of them and are more open, honest and straightforward
with others, sometimes even quite direct in their communication style. They can gravitate toward
leadership positions because they are now more powerful, decisive and strong in themselves.
Sometimes the move to Eight occurs when Twos end up in adverse conditions where they
need to be strong and fend for themselves. If this is the case, the move to Eight will allow them
to tap into their own powerful instinctual energy and take care of themselves by fighting back.

Type Two with an Unhealthy Connection to Type Four:

When Twos deteriorate to the
negative aspects of type Four they can become self-pitying and lament because nobody really
loves them. They become more self-absorbed, fantasizing obsessively about being in love and
depressed about ever being able to truly find it. Or, if they have a partner, they can become
disenchanted, disillusioned and disappointed in him or her. They may fear abandonment or have
romantic obsessions about being with a more exciting and attractive person. They constantly
compare themselves with others and can feel envious of others who have loving relationships.

Type Two with an Unhealthy Connection to Type Eight:

When Twos deteriorate to the
negative aspects of type Eight it is usually because they are confronted with the fact that their
self-sacrifices and efforts to get closer to people aren’t working and are actually driving people
away. At this point their anxiety and stress can start to exceed their coping strategies. They
become more self-deceptive and manipulative and aggressively try to hold onto others at any
cost, all the while justifying themselves and their actions as “loving.” They become more
demanding of attention and confront people directly about being unappreciative and ungrateful
for all they do for them. They can become surprisingly angry, argumentative, blaming and
accusatory, claiming that they have been taken advantage of or wronged in some way and
deserve better. This way of being can come as quite a shock to those accused of wrong-doing
because the Two has always been so kind, sweet and loving. Twos can become self-important
and are unwilling to have their “saintliness” go unnoticed or unrecognized. If Twos continue to
feel unloved and unappreciated they will up the ante and become more openly domineering and
controlling, taking charge of everyone and everything. In a scary way, Twos can repress any
evidence of their hostility towards others and continue to see themselves as a caring, loving
person. If the Two is single they could become romantically obsessed with someone and stalk
him or her. If the Two is partnered, they could act out their rage and feelings of betrayal by
threatening their partner to be more loving, considerate and responsive to their needs. At worst,
the Two could become vengeful and commit an act of violent retribution…. and feel completely
justified in doing it!

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