In-Depth Description of Enneagram:
Common Descriptive Names: (1) The Helper, (2) The Giver, (3) The Altruist Unconscious Fear for type Two: Of being unwanted and unworthy of being loved for themselves alone To compensate for their Unconscious Fear an Unconscious Desire arises: Unconscious Desire for type Two: To be loved unconditionally.
As our personality was forming in early childhood we each developed limiting subconscious beliefs about ourselves, others and the world. For example, your mother or father might have yelled at you “Get your hands out of there!” or “You should be ashamed of yourself!” or “Stop being such a cry baby!” If you had really loving parents you might have heard, “Don’t touch that, it’s hot!” or “Don’t do that, you might hurt yourself!” We also developed limiting beliefs about others. Growing up you may have heard, “I don’t want you to play with those kinds of kids” or “Salesmen are sleazebags” or “Politicians are so duplicitous and two-faced.” We also developed limiting beliefs about the world. Newspapers and television constantly bombard our minds with reports of scandals, crimes, wars, economic crises, natural disasters, and political corruption. Does this help us believe the world is a loving, safe place to live? Of course not. One way or another, none of us escaped childhood without some limiting subconscious beliefs. Your Enneagram type identifies some of the strongest subconscious beliefs that you’ve developed over time based on your distorted perception of reality.
Limiting Subconscious Beliefs for type Two:
• It is selfish to have my own needs. • I have to take care of others before myself. • People need my help. • I’m here to serve others’ needs. • I have to earn love, approval and appreciation. • To be loved I must be needed.
Core Coping Strategies for Twos:
: (where Twos focus their attention because of their subconscious beliefs) • Sacrificing their own needs to care for others • Not recognizing that they even have needs • Focusing on, cueing for and sensing what other’s need • Giving (praise, affection, compliments, help, etc.) to get (love) • “Matching.” An NLP term meaning Twos try to find commonality between them and others • Altering and adapting themselves to be more likeable and lovable • Suppressing negative, unpleasant and unlikable feelings • “Mirroring” others (matching mannerisms) in conversation to create wonderful rapport • Winning important others over with kindness, charm and seduction • “Mind reading” (Twos often assume they know what others are thinking and feeling).
I’d recommend reading a bit about the healthy, very healthy, average, unhealthy and destructive type Two Enneagram traits.
Have a nice day!