Living Happily in our World as an ESTP

ESTP’s usually have a strong group of supporters, both at work and socially. They are often popular, their appeal is magnetic and they attract those who would like to do the things they can do. The problems the ESTP has fitting into the world tend to be related to the flip side of this attractive and challenging exterior, for the deeper and more intimate side of people tends to avoid them, just as the ESTP tends to avoid the deeper connections. ESTP’s have no trouble attracting lovers and admirers, they simply have trouble keeping them, for once relationships begin to demand constancy and deep, feeling based connections, the ESTP is often left wondering what the fuss was about. Their inadequacy in this regard can often make

 

others feel they are lacking any real feelings or desire for commitment, whilst the truth is that they simply do not know the path to such things without a long and difficult learning period. They are more frightened of feelings rather than unable to feel, they are more timid of commitment rather than unable to commit. In relationships the ESTP needs reassurance, but all too often their needs are unspoken and interpreted as inabilities.

 

Specific Suggestions:

Ask yourself what you want from a long term relationship. Now turn this around and see how your requirements compare with others. Are you being realistic? Have you forgotten to include the needs of others in your ideal relationship? Are you afraid of the things you need to offer, or are you just afraid that in offering them you will lose something?

 

Always remember, that a relationship which adds to your personal skills and life is a valuable one, while a relationship which limits your ability to be yourself is not going to work. Now try to see how your own demands and needs might add to another, and what they might take away from them.

 

Don’t be afraid of letting your feelings show, even if they frighten you for their weakness or showing your own vulnerability. More often than not, such honesty is the beginning of the kind of relationship that can lead you to grow.

 

Your best partner is going to be the one who fills your private space, your thinking space, as well as your senses. Try to talk to others about what you think. Discover yourself in your thoughts and let relationships grow through your letting the other person into your inner world. Discuss your fears and limits and discover the strength available to you from the support of another who may have what you need.

 

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