ENFJ Relationships

ENFJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. To some extent, the ENFJ defines themselves by the closeness and authenticity of their personal relationships, and are therefore highly invested in the business of relationships. They have very good people skills, and are affectionate and considerate. They are warmly affirming and nurturing. They excel at bringing out the best in others, and warmly supporting them. They want responding affirmation from their relationships, although they have a problem asking for it. When a situation calls for it, the ENFJ will become very sharp and critical. After having made their point, they will return to their natural, warm selves. They may have a tendency to “smother” their loved ones, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and caring natures.


Most ENFJs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

  • Good verbal communication skills
  • Very perceptive about people’s thoughts and motives
  • Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
  • Warmly affectionate and affirming
  • Fun to be with – lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
  • Good money skills
  • Able to “move on” after a love relationship has failed (although they blame themselves)
  • Loyal and committed – they want lifelong relationships
  • Strive for “win-win” situations
  • Driven to meet other’s needs


Most ENFJs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationships issues:

  • Tendency to be smothering and over-protective
  • Tendency to be controlling and/or manipulative
  • Don’t pay enough attention to their own needs
  • Tend to be critical of opinions and attitudes which don’t match their own
  • Sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or protocol
  • Extremely sensitive to conflict, with a tendency to sweep things under the rug as an avoidance tactic
  • Tendency to blame themselves when things go wrong, and not give themselves credit when things go right
  • Their sharply defined value systems make them unbending in some areas
  • They may be so attuned to what is socially accepted or expected that they’re unable to assess whether something is “right” or “wrong” outside of what their social circle