Enneagram Type #8 Sexual Subtype

Tend to be the most energetic, intense, assertive and excessive of all the Enneagram types

• Can be one of the most devoted, big-hearted and loving types once they trust their
• Truly want to have a partnership of equality where they don’t feel the need to control and
• Want to know everything about their partner – body, mind and soul; no secret is too
• An honest fight/argument that brings out the truth allows Sexual 8s to feel closer to their
• Can surrender control and be genuinely soft, vulnerable and tender with their partner once
they have won their partner’s loyalty and affections and have no fear of being betrayed
• Some Sexual 8s like a partner to be strong and direct, to stand his/her ground against the 8
• Other Sexual 8s like a more withdrawn type of partner that they can mold
• Are very protective of their partner
• Are charismatic, passionate and truthful

• Inner tension between wanting to connect with my partner on a deep level vs. needing to
stay in control
• Tend to take charge of their partner’s life; want to possess him/her; feel the impulse to
• For all their bravado, Sexual 8s actually have a deep fear of rejection which is why they
feel the need to possess and control their partner in the first place
• Tend to be lusty in love; can be competitive, impulsive and impatient too
• Like a good heated debate or argument every once in a while with their partner
• Get angry when their partner makes an important decision without consulting the 8 first
• Get angry when their partner withholds information from the 8 during a fight/argument.
Sexual 8s want their partner to be direct and honest and not withhold their thoughts or
emotions from them
• Tend to be assertive and confrontational in relationships; prefer intense relationships to
comfortable ones
• Can be extremely suspicious and fear betrayal
• Tend to demand loyalty and attention from their partner; can act parental or superior at
• Tend to question and test their partner’s motives and actions in the beginning stages of
the relationship
• Won’t let down their guard or relax their control in a relationship until they know it is safe
to do so
• Can have a very difficult time letting go of a relationship once it is over
• Once they have fallen in love with their partner Sexual 8s can become codependent and/or
• At worst, can completely control and dominate their partner and isolate him/her from
other people

• At worst, can be abusive, vengeful, sadistic or even commit crimes of passion