Heart and Defensive Points/Arrows for Enneagram Type Four

Type Four with a Healthy Connection to Type One:

When Fours integrate the positive
aspects of type One they become more grounded, objective, practical, realistic and productive,
like healthy Ones. They naturally become more self-disciplined and interested in devoting
themselves to worthwhile projects and endeavors. They no longer wallow in self-pity, indulge
themselves with food or fantasies, or brood about hurts and disappointments from the past. They
are better able to put their strong ideals and principles into real-life action and work with people
to affect the changes they want to see. They live more in the here and now and focus on working
with what is possible in any given situation rather than rejecting what doesn’t fit their ideal. They
also pay more attention to the positive in their life rather than dwelling on what’s missing in their
life. As they pour their heart into their work and allow themselves to connect with others they
develop a stronger sense of themselves. Fours also become more discriminating and discerning,
no longer letting their subjective moods dictate how they view a situation. As Fours relax and
accept themselves more deeply they are able to accept others more deeply, thus enabling them
to have the kind of soul-satisfying, intimate relationships with others that they have always
craved.

Type Four with a Healthy Connection to Type Two:

When Fours integrate the positive
aspects of type Two they become less self-absorbed and more interested in connecting with other
people. They become more sociable and less aloof and withdrawn. They also enjoy meeting
other people’s needs in practical ways yet can maintain good emotional boundaries and not be
unduly influenced by how others respond to them. Healthy Fours enjoy nurturing and
encouraging the self-confidence and strength in others, like healthy Twos. Fours with a healthy
connection to Two become much more optimistic and enthusiastic about life. They become more
genuinely complimentary of others and focus on all the positive in their life.

 

Type Four with an Unhealthy Connection to Type One:

When Fours deteriorate to the
negative aspects of type One they become more frustrated with their own imperfections yet
project those imperfections onto other people and thus become disappointed in how others are
behaving. They are more judgmental, perfectionistic and critical of others because no one ever
seems to do anything right, according to their exacting standards. They are impatient, intolerant
and easily angered. They also feel guilty and self-critical for not living up to their own
expectations. They are more controlling and preachy, constantly pointing out where others need
to change. They tend to be fixated on other people’s faults and shortcomings rather than any
positive qualities they might have. Fours with an unhealthy connection to type One can also
become workaholics, driving themselves excessively to prove their worth and to be noticed as
someone special. They can have a difficult time relaxing, fearing that they might become lazy
and unproductive if they let up for a moment. They can also become obsessed with selfimprovement,
personal growth and being perfect, like unhealthy Ones.

Type Four with an Unhealthy Connection to Type Two:

When Fours deteriorate to the
negative aspects of type Two they fear that they are driving people away with their emotional
storminess and frequent, unannounced, moody withdrawals. Then they panic that they might be
driving away the people they need and try to win them over by doing nice things for them or by
manipulating them into loving them. They try to make themselves indispensable to create
dependencies of one kind or another so that they can feel loved. Of course, this doesn’t work
because no else’s love can replace the emptiness and loneliness that the Four is feeling inside.
Fours with an unhealthy connection to type Two many deny or repress their own needs but
become more possessive of loved ones at the same time. They may not let their loved ones out
of their sight without wanting to know where e they are. At worst, they may unconsciously become
ill as a way to get attention and feel special.

 

 

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